You don’t owe the internet a perfect online persona
Performing Online: Let Your Digital Space Reflect You , Social Media and Anxiety , TikTok Reposts , Gen Z and Digital Identity , Curation , Instagram, Casual Posting and Digital Detox.
I think we’ve all had the urge to curate, make pictures perfect, take better shots, and just make everything flawless before posting on social media. We all have this perfectionist instinct to present an idealized version of ourselves online whether through photodumps, content creation, or even the smallest Instagram stories. Every day, I open Instagram and see perfectly curated photodumps,edited, well-composed, and flawless. Even the stories are perfectly put together. And honestly? I’ve realized that social media has become a space where people perform. It’s always good vibes, aesthetic pictures, and the best version of life. But behind every “effortless” post is a level of curation that feels more exhausting than fun.
The internet rewards aesthetics, engagement, and consistency, but what if you just want to share casually? What if you want to post without overthinking? The truth is, the pressure to maintain an online persona is mostly self-imposed. No one is tracking your digital perfection except you.
For me, when I decide to post photodumps, I just pick whatever’s in my recent camera roll without editing or spending too much time on it. I love casual posting on Instagram I feel like what I share reflects me, and maybe that’s why my little Instagram community loves it. But I have to admit, lately, even posting an Instagram story or a regular post makes me cringe. I’ll be honest there have been so many times I deleted a personal picture from my Instagram story (which was only for close friends) because I felt too vulnerable. Even though I looked great in the pic, the fear of posting was stronger. And I know I’m not the only one. A lot of content creators, especially on TikTok, have talked about feeling the same way
Yesterday, I spent about 5 hours scrolling through Instagram, looking at other people’s feeds, many reels and then I had a massive breakdown for no reason. I decided to delete the app for a few days to see if it helps. Honestly, I think my brain just couldn’t process everything I was consuming. i didn’t even recognize myself. Social media doesn’t make me feel good when I stay on it for too long. It drains me. And my sleep schedule? A complete mess. I sleep at 4 AM every day because I scroll for hours on TikTok and Instagram. I swear, my dopamine receptors are so fried. Social media is addicting, and I hate that it is. For now, I’ve deleted Instagram for my mental health. I don’t know if I’ll come back this month or not, but right now, I feel so much better without that app.
Authenticity is refreshing. The best online spaces are the ones that feel honest, unfiltered, and human. You don’t need to brand yourself, create a persona, or stick to a theme to be valuable. You are enough, even without the perfectly curated feed. At the end of the day, social media should serve you not the other way around. So post without overthinking, embrace imperfection, and remind yourself: you don’t owe the internet a perfect persona. I constantly feel the urge to post more on social media YouTube, Instagram, TikTok. But I have to admit, posting on Substack and YouTube makes me feel genuinely happy and fulfilled. I don’t know why, but the feeling is completely different from when I post on Twitter or Instagram.
I also created a new private Instagram account with just mutuals and close friends, but I don’t know... I feel like I’m making too many accounts. It’s like I want a different online persona for each one. I don’t know what I’m doing, but I guess I’m figuring it out. Recently, I saw a TikTok where a guy was explaining why he hates Instagram. He said that on Instagram, people just watch your stories or like your pictures, but they rarely interact with you or ask how you're doing. He also mentioned that TikTok is way better because it provides a space for comments and real conversations—kind of like Reddit, but in a more engaging video format. Honestly, I love TikTok. It’s a platform where I genuinely enjoy spending my time, but I also have to remind myself that it’s still social media, and like any other platform, it can do more harm than good if not used mindfully. On Youtube , I love watching people share their daily vlogs and small moments of their lives. It feels calming and relaxing. Unlike other platforms, videos on YouTube don’t have heavy filters just editing, but editing real clips that capture genuine moments. That’s why I feel like YouTube is the original and most authentic space for this type of content. I have about 200 subscribers there, and I sometimes wonder how they perceive my videos what they think about them but overall, it feels like a safe space. Slowly, I’m building my own little community, and it’s an amazing feeling.
On TikTok, I really enjoy photodumps, casual posting, “day in the life” videos, monthly favorites, and “what’s in my bag” content. These are the kinds of videos I love watching and creating! I recently saw a TikTok video where a woman was talking about how social media should truly reflect who you are. She mentioned that you can even treat it like a vision board if you want to, which I think is such a cool idea. Honestly, I love sharing things I enjoy, whether it's on Substack or other platforms. Even if it sometimes feels weird, I don’t care people are just people, and everyone is posting what they like.
Posting a cute meme doesn’t make you childish, and sharing what makes you happy is never pointless. In fact, it might inspire someone else. No one should feel pressured to create the perfect photodump. There’s no need to spend hours curating and editing just to end up with a few likes or barely any engagement on Instagram. At the end of the day, you know who you are, you know what you love, and that’s what truly matters. External validation isn’t necessary unless you're intentionally trying to build a community and share your passions with others but even then, authenticity is key.
People admire honesty and realness, so just be yourself, and your community will naturally form around you. Personally, I feel like I’m shifting away from posting photodumps on Instagram and focusing on sharing more meaningful content on YouTube and TikTok. I genuinely love these platforms. So, the best advice I can give? Find a platform that doesn’t drain you, and be yourself, bestie!
I love reposting on TikTok because it feels like a simple, effortless way to share things that resonate with me. When I find something I relate to, I just hit repost—it’s like curating a mini collection of my current thoughts, moods, and interests. But the funny (and slightly annoying) part is that some of my mutuals seem to copy everything I repost. It’s as if they’re stealing my entire vibe, and while I find it amusing, it also makes me wonder: Do they actually relate to what they’re sharing, or are they just reposting for the sake of it?
For me, reposts are more than just content they reflect my personality, what I’m into, and what I’m currently loving. I’ve decided to repost less and start gatekeeping a little more. Not because I don’t want to share, but because I want to be more intentional with what I put out there. At the end of the day, social media should reflect who you really are, not just be a collection of whatever is trending. I’d rather share things that truly feel like me, rather than just adding to the noise.
Friday 14th march
At 1 AM yesterday, I made my favorite snack yummy bread and butter toast paired with a refreshing kiwi juice. As I ate, I started searching for information about anxiety, depression, and their connection to social media. Honestly, what I found was mind-blowing. I was surprised to learn how much of it is rooted in the brain it’s not just about emotions or thoughts; there are actual chemical imbalances involved. When neurotransmitters and receptors stop functioning properly, it can lead to heightened anxiety. And for people already prone to depression, excessive phone and social media use can make things even worse, sometimes even leading to clinical depression.
It made me reflect on my own experiences. At times, I thought I had depression, but now I wonder how much of it was influenced by my habits constantly being online, consuming endless information, and overstimulating my brain. It’s fascinating yet terrifying how much our mental health is shaped by things we don’t always realize.
Maybe that breakdown happened because I stayed indoors for 15 days without seeing the sun I might be low on vitamin D. In our physiology course, we learned that a vitamin D deficiency can contribute to depression, anxiety, and other health issues. Maybe all I really needed was a good blowout, a fresh haircut, and a solo date to reset my mood. Honestly, I’ve already made a plan for this week to take myself on a solo date, and I just know I’ll feel happier, cooler, and more inspired afterward. I’ll have something meaningful to write about in my little journal and to share with you too, I’ve noticed that I’m only truly creative when I go out or when I have a crush. So, expect a lot of personal essays from me next week! Stay tuned.
We should all make an effort to step outside more often soak up the sun, take a walk in the park, go on a shopping day, or treat ourselves to our favorite dessert. Sometimes, spending too much time on our phones makes us forget about all the little things that used to bring us genuine happiness. Let’s not lose sight of them.
Found this on aren.na I LOVE IT
You need to shed your digital identity if you want to stop being called back to represent it online
Consider the fact that being on Insta for a long time means you have fostered a digital identity. You might find it more fulfilling to share your travels to your Instagram instead of a new account because it boosts your digital identity. On Instagram you don't just travel - once you start posting about it you are a traveller, and that is very validating.
Honestly if you want to be a mysterious offline person, you have to lose your digital identity. It's a part of the "going offline" experience but if it is holding you back then it might help to know what to expect.
Losing it would have a couple of landmarks you can look out for...
You realise there is a filter over your POV. You see something beautiful and reach for your phone to share a pic, but there is nowhere to share the pic to. Maybe you still take the picture. It feels like everything you see is auditioning to be posted.
The impulse to share gets quieter and quieter. you realise nothing changed when you didn’t make that post, but for some reason you can’t really remember what the post was going to be about, and you dont even remember which picture it was :O
Maybe you stop taking pictures, since there is no where to put them. You stop looking at the world with the rule of thirds and start taking in the whole scene. The temperature, the sounds, the peripherals, all become parts of the moments. You realise why you'd never be able to fully capture it. Bonus, your memory of these moments is getting stronger.
Anything can be a moment. Since the beautiful moments don’t have to be visual anymore, you catch them everywhere, the feeling of walking on a nice sandy beach, the song of the birds on your walk to work in the morning, the smell of the bakery you walk past every day.
Finally you start to know these beautiful moments are for you. They are yours, you don’t have to share them with anyone else. they turn into kind of like mindful moments instead. You can slow down and take the whole moment in.
You'll have a couple months where you’ll want to tell everyone to do what you did and they tell you you are preachy (this might just be me). Then everyone says “OMG I could never do that but good for you” when you say “Sorry, I’m offline, can you give me your phone number instead.”
I’ve realized that every time I eat something a croissant, or when I’m just sitting in the park enjoying a moment I instinctively want to capture it and share it on my Instagram story. It’s like a reflex, this urge to film and document everything for my followers. And honestly… why am I like this? Am I the only one who feels this way?
I know part of it is about aesthetics i love having a beautiful, curated feed. But it’s not just that. Do people really need to know where I was, what I ate, my plans, my wishlist? Lately, I’ve been thinking more about gatekeeping certain moments, because life doesn’t always have to be recorded. Some of my happiest days were the ones where I didn’t take a single photo or video i just lived in the moment.
I’m not saying we should stop posting completely, but maybe we should post less meaningless things and be more intentional. Share to inspire, not just for the sake of recording every second of life. Posting shouldn’t feel like an obligation, and it definitely shouldn’t be just for a few likes or replies.
That being said, I do love documenting my little life. Since 2022, I’ve been posting photodumps with my loyal 100 followers, and they’ve always liked and related to what I shared. Looking back now, in 2025, I miss that version of myself. I miss her cute photodumps, the way she studied, what inspired her. It’s nostalgic and special in its own way.
So, I guess it’s a balance. Some moments are meant to be shared, and others are meant to be lived.
I feel like Substack is the only place where I’m truly vulnerable more so than on any other platform. If you went through all 70+ posts I’ve written since the beginning, you’d probably get a real sense of who I am my interests, personality, and the little things that make up my world. And that’s what I love about it: it connects strangers who share the same passions in one space.
Honestly, Substack is my favorite platform. It’s calming, authentic, and free from the pressure of traditional social media. I can write whenever and whatever I want, knowing that my loyal and thoughtful community will engage sending comments, sharing their perspectives, and making it a space of real connection. It’s so much more fulfilling than Instagram or other platforms. In a way, Substack feels like long-form social media but with depth and substance.
Gen Z's obsession with performance and fitting into a box in hopes that it will get them to the point of being an influencer is creating the downfall of individualism and self expression
I genuinely believe more people from Instagram should start writing on Substack—I want to see glimpses of their personalities through their words, their thoughts, and the things they’re passionate about. Lately, I’ve been obsessed with a Substack newsletter from Filipa, an Instagram influencer whose content is already inspiring, but her writing? Even cooler. Reading her posts has been one of my biggest joys.
We can make the internet fun again by creating unique Substack posts, starting personal blogs, vlogging our daily lives without filters or over-editing, and simply sharing the things that bring us joy. There are so many ways to cultivate a better and more meaningful online space. The internet has its flaws, but it also holds so much potential for creativity, authenticity, and genuine connection.
From a medium post : This particular form emphasises the curation of the self. It encourages users to share every aspect of their lives with a wider undefined community. Everything you do is something to be captured, a moment to be remembered or ‘shared’. Engagement with others has, at the same time, become increasingly more abstract in nature, reducing genuine conversation to a game of influencing and engaging. This isn’t ‘sharing’: broadcasting would be a more adequate word. The only escape, for many, is to create an ‘alt’ account.
My mom is a psychologist, so she always notices when I stay up super late and worries about me. I know it’s unhealthy, and I’m also aware that being addicted to social media isn’t great for me either. But honestly, when I’m busy or out, I barely even check my phone. My social media usage skyrockets when I have too much free time, when I’m bored, or when I just don’t have anything else to do. It’s like my brain is constantly searching for something interesting—I scroll for hours, hoping to come across another video like the one I saw earlier of a woman reviewing gourmand perfumes in a unique way or explaining why she prefers Eau Duelle by Diptyque over other fragrances. Or maybe I’m just trying to find an account that perfectly matches the vibe of the first one I saw that morning. At the end of the day, I think it’s less about addiction and more about filling the empty moments with something engaging. And when I don’t have anything else capturing my attention, social media becomes my go-to escape. So, maybe the key isn’t just using it less but finding something just as exciting to replace those long scrolling sessions.
I’ve been thinking a lot about trends, especially on TikTok. One day, I came across a tweet about two girls wearing identical outfits same colors, same style and the entire internet was talking about it. All they did was go to a museum in what they thought was a great outfit, yet somehow, it became a huge discussion. I feel like TikTok, Pinterest, and social media trends in general play a big role in this. When something starts trending, people rush to get it or recreate the exact look. I see it all the time in TikTok comments, everyone asking, "Where’s this from?" "Drop the link!" "What brand is this?" It’s like an endless cycle of trying to chase whatever is popular at the moment.
Personally, I approach trends differently. If I see something that aligns with my style, I’ll save it for inspiration, but I don’t feel the need to get the exact same piece. Instead, I prefer to reinterpret the look in my own way, giving it a personal touch rather than just copying it.
Last night, I had a realization: That’s it. I’m 23 now, and I don’t want to keep spending my days glued to my phone, wasting hours scrolling endlessly. I don’t want that anymore. So, I did something different. I wrote in my journal, used my favorite lotion (which smelled amazing, by the way), turned off my Wi-Fi, and read a Substack post about journaling. And let me tell youI felt happier. Maybe it was because I wasn’t distracted by notifications. Maybe it was because I was fully immersed in what I was reading. Whatever the reason, it felt good. It made me realize that I need to establish a proper night routine something that actually relaxes me instead of overstimulating my brain. It’s a long process, but I’m documenting it over the next few weeks as I try a digital detox. Stay tuned for that! I also have tons of fashion and personal essays coming I’m feeling so creative right now.
If you struggle with social media addiction, here are my tips:
Set limits on how much time you spend on social media.
Try a full day without your phone and see what happens.
Turn phone time into hobby time read, write, create!
Develop a hobby and actually stick to it.
Read more. Seriously, just read.
Turn off your Wi-Fi at night for a true break.
Journal your thoughts and ideas it helps clear your mind.
Watch a movie or series you love instead of mindlessly scrolling.
Watch vlogs without jumping between different social media apps.
Listen to a podcast
Have a self-care night : do something that makes you feel good.
Plan something cool just for yourself for the week you’ll feel much happier after.
Hope you enjoyed this long post! I tried my best to share everything I’ve been feeling about this topic. See you soon in my next personal essay, lovelies! 💌
my phone is not in good condition, which stopped me from doomscrolling. and honestly i have so much free time now to actually do my hobbies, like reading on substack
🤍 love the digital detox journey ! Also your thoughts are so profound and we can relate — a lot of us at least. I feel better without X, without TikTok and I’m kinda excited to erase Facebook too.. I feel like humans are collectively coming back to the Earth, and it’s infinite possibilities. Also … ennui is good for catching ideas and hearing them better (over the constant noise of socials media.) + it gives space for originality.